FiveChildren

This marks Logan's 22nd birthday. I am unsure why but for the first time the date showed up and somewhat surprised me. I am always very aware of March 21st, I know when it will be here and what day of the week it is on. I even get a little grumpy during the week, less so each passing year, but I still notice it. My son was lost to us before he had a chance to meet us. It is, to this day, the worst event in my life. Losing my father was bad, but not nearly as bad as losing a child. His death triggered something very special in my life, a desire to see the Lord. Without his loss, I am unsure if I would've changed the way I did. Yes I was angry, mad at God for taking my son. I was bitter for a very long time, but because of people I met after losing him, I realized there were no real answers coming. I would never fully understand what happened, nor why. I found solace in various books about bad things happening to good people. I grieved deeply at a loss I could not understan...

Recently we had our second scare with Finn our Golden Retriever. Last year he had a tumor removed from his right cheek that was in fact cancerous. Move forward 11 months and suddenly out of nowhere a marble sized bump appears near his lip on the same right cheek. We have been checking him regularly and in fact he had just visited the Vet for his yearly check-up and nothing. Took him in and they recommended surgery to remove it. Once again poor Finn had to endure another visit to the vet that turned into something major. They also called during surgery and said one of his back teeth was bad and needed removal. What do you do at this point? Your dog is family right? I cannot imagine a scenario where I don't do exactly what we did even though the bill was pushing $1000. He is a member of our family, how could I possibly not do everything I can for him. Fast forward to yesterday and the vet called with the result of the pathology was negative. This was a benign tumor, not cancer!...

My wife knows I am not a Valentines sort of person, I rarely acknowledge the day but do remember to ensure she knows how much I love her. In lieu of a card this year (I've been sick and traveling, but those are simply excuses) I am writing this post. You see my wife is the most important person in my life and has been for the past 35 years. She is beautiful, I see the woman I fell for oh those many years ago in her every day. She is so very strong, the strongest woman I know. We have been through many ups and downs in our marriage most so very good that you think how blessed you are each day by God. A few that have dipped into uncharted territory for most couples. She has given me beautiful, smart, and wonderful children, four of which have somehow grown up before our eyes. I really do not know where the time went. One of them who we only share in memories of the lowest point for each of our lives. He lives on in our hearts, and someday we will both see him again. She makes...

Why is it that some folks have such a hard time believing in God? Is it because we often times try to reason through issues like "How can evil exist if God is good?" You wouldn't be the first to stumble on that question. Many struggle with the idea of evil, it can be a large obstacle to believing in God. But consider this, without a concept of ultimate good, how can we have any idea of what evil is? I believe that the limit of my knowledge prevents me from being able to understand how God could allow the pain and suffering we see in the world each day. But I also believe that God is not limited, that he uses these situations to bring us closer to him, that he has allowed these things to happen for our own greater good. We may not understand them now, but we will have the opportunity to understand them once we join the Lord. The Weaver by Grant Colfax Tuller My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me. I cannot choose the colors, He worketh steadily. Oft times ...

So it has been an interesting year and some change since our last election. The person I had hoped would get the nomination did not. Faced with the choice between an evil person (Hillary) and an obnoxious businessman (Trump), it seemed that I was doomed to once again choose between bad and worse. I will say that while I don't always agree with the way he acts or the words he speaks, I do agree with he's been able to accomplished. With the media exposed for what they truly are (hacks who carry the Democratic Party banner), it is somewhat refreshing to see someone who causes them no end of discomfort. My wife sent me this  article that pretty much sums up why Donald Trump may be the President we need. I rarely watch any news these days so my blood pressure has a chance to remain fairly low. The lies and deceit that are told and written to pass as "journalism" are a sad reminder that this country is being divided by those who we once trusted. I check a few blogs, l...

Sometimes it is the little things that make a difference in someones life. Visiting with elderly parents and bringing dinner. Playing a favorite game with them and needling each other (just in fun of course).  Taking down the garbage for someone who has a tough time getting down the stairs of their house, or making sure they have some wine and soda in their fridge since they don't drive as much. Little things matter, and we really don't have any idea how much until someone does something like that for us. A grateful smile, or a hug means so much. In this busy world we sometimes miss out on those queues as we are so busy moving on to the next thing, or next item on our to do list. Take the time to do some small things, not only for others, but for yourself. Doing little things can remove stress from your life as well as that of others. I've found that if I notice an item that needs to be put away, or a service on the car (yes, I still try and do most of the work on my ca...

I decided that since I have a small knife collection, I should review them so others (if they find this site) can read and see if any are for them. Who knows, maybe I will save someone a little money by preventing a bad purchase. This is the first review and will be on my newest knife, a Kershaw Cryo II which I purchased from Amazon just before Christmas. The reason I added this knife is that my favorite knife has come up missing and rather than buy another (hopefully I can find it), I took the opportunity to try a highly rated and less expensive knife from a different manufacturer. The first thing to know about this knife (for EDC folks) is that it is fairly heavy. The handle is stainless steel and this knife weighs in at 5.6 oz ( compare this to my SOG Flash II at 2.8 oz or my Jeep emergency knife with glass break and seatbelt cutter at 5.3 oz) and you have a weighty knife in your pocket. Closed it measures just at 4.75 inches, fully opened and it’s at 8.5 inches. ...

Growing up in an Air Force family during the 60’s and 70’s gave me valuable experience in prioritizing different aspects of my life. I always felt like there were a few things that we should all do in our lives: Finish what you start. If you mess up, fess up. Be a good steward of your money. Be fair to everyone, regardless of color, beliefs, or sex. Now I am not perfect and I have not always followed all those items (rules if you will) above, just ask my wife about #3 early in our marriage. I try to treat everyone fairly, I don’t care what color your skin is (and yes we all see skin color, doesn’t make you racist), I don’t care whether you believe as I do or not (I will pray for you though), and I could care less if you are a woman or a man ( and yes, those are the only two sexes on this planet). If you are confused as to your skin color or sex, I will still be fair to you until you don’t deserve to be treated that way. I see what is going on in the news and all ov...

So here we are again after almost 12 years dormant. I finally figured out how to access this blog (thanks Google) and decided to start posting again. It seems odd going back and reading all the old posts given the separation of time. Looking back I see so many thoughts and stories about what I was dealing with at the time and it floods me with those memories. I started posting elsewhere just to get my thoughts down, but will move those here (not many as it turns out). I hope to post on a more regular basis and am challenging myself to do more so we shall see how that goes.

So I am staring at my laptop at the end of a busy and often times stressful day. What am I thinking about? Is it myself, is it something I forgot to do, something I did? No. I am thinking about Christianity. About how all the questions I have hinge on one basic tenet of Christianity: Jesus dying on the cross. The one thing that separates Christianity from other religions is that God conquered death. And sin, my sin, your sin, was atoned for. No matter what else I may face, whether it is simple like work related problems, or complex like family issues or cancer, the answer lies in the hope God gives us because of the bodily resurrection Jesus Christ offers to all who believe in Him. Now as I sit here feeling pretty darn good, and smelling the wonderful stuffed peppers my beautiful wife is making for dinner, I realize that all the issues, and doubts I have are washed away by the grace God provides. 1 Corinthians 15:16-18 For if the dead do not rise, then Christ is not risen. And...

Philippians 4:8    Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things. Sometimes after many years, couples grow apart. They may not realize it, but it happens. You may be further a long on your spiritual walk then your spouse, or the things you once found interesting, you now find annoying. Because of so many things, you don't recognize the signs of a dreary marriage, you just know that you are uncomfortable and or unhappy. Re-discovering your spouse, focusing on their positive aspects instead of dwelling on the negative is one step in avoiding the rejection of your spouse that leads to divorce. Look at the way the differences in the two of you complement each other. I know I am sometimes too loose with money, spending it on the things I choose, my wife...

Yesterday was just one of those days, first my wife gets stuck , then there is so much busy work, that I get almost nothing accomplished. It was a tweener, somewhere between a good and a bad day. I have this inner desire to actually earn the money my company pays me, a work ethic my Father instilled in me. My Dad is an amazing man. When we moved to Colorado in 1975, he was in the Air Force. Two years later he retired. My sister and I were both in high school at the time, my sister was a senior and getting ready to go off to college. I remember nobody wanting to hire my Dad for anywhere near enough money (he was a retiree, and back then most employers discriminated against military retirees, as they had their retirement money and so felt they could pay them less). Knowing he had commitments, he went out and worked two jobs. Here was a man who was at the top of his profession (electronics expert, having worked on the best the USAF had to offer), working at a Total gas station at ni...

Just as Luther was partially wrong when he stated "Man's will is enslaved either to God or to Satan, but it is never free", so Calvin is also partially wrong with his stance on predestination. I am not a Calvinist, nor am I an Armenianist(hope that is the correct spelling). Only the scripture is correct, and there are many verses that support both stances. So what we have here is a problem with mutual exclusivity by both doctrines. Let me make one thing very clear, I don't feel that there is anything wrong with any denomination (as my parents are Catholic, and I know they are saved). I don't want to give the appearance of bashing anyone's beliefs. What I am stating here and in my previous post are my opinions. I disagree with much of what is taught in many churches, denominational or not. I have been to a number of each, and left feeling far worse than when I went in. I believe in Gods' word, not in any particular doctrine. I'll leave it at that. ...

This is the first part of a multi-part post, I started putting it all together and realized it was too big for a single post. Part 1 is about Religion, Part 2 will be about Calvinism, specifically predestination. Beyond that, I'll see what remains and go on from there. A bit of background is usually helpful, and in this case, I believe important. I was raised Catholic. I left Catholicism when I was 18, and with one or two exceptions, I have never been back (I was however married in a Catholic Cathedral, old habits do die hard I guess). I have been for many years as is my wife, a Christian. If you spoke to my relatives and most of my close friends, confrontational is a word that might be used to describe me (among many other, much nicer, gentler words. OK maybe not). Generally, in regard to my beliefs, I am not that way. With this post, that is about to change. I would like to define one word for now, one that is important to this discussion: Religion - Websters and Britannic...

Not much time to blog this morning, but this article is a great example of our soldiers bravery. I have always been, and will always be very proud of the men and women of our armed forces. Semper Fi!

Found this when going through one of my many drawers of stuff I haven't cleaned out yet. I feel that God has put this on my heart to share as I recover slowly (of course if you know me, you know I will push my recovery as fast as possible). What a great thing to remember as we go through this life on the narrow path. Thank you Lord for your wonderous blessings, as the song says, "I can only imagine". How to be miserable - Think about yourself.  Talk about yourself.  Use "I" as often as possible.  Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. Listen greedily to what people say about you.  Expect to be appreciated.  Be suspicious. Be jealous and envious.  Be sensitive to slights.  Never forgive a criticism.  Trust nobody but yourself.  Insist on consideration and respect.  Demand agreement with your own views on everything.  Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.  Never forget a...

So in my last post , I mentioned that I have two girls and two boys. You might ask, "How does that add up to the five you have in your profile?" Well it doesn't, you see one thing my father and I have in common (other than a shortage of hair on top of our heads, and the way we walk) is that we have both lost a son. My brother Matthew lived for only a few short hours, after having the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, something they could not see back in 1959. My son Logan Daniel would have been 9 years old in a month. He was stillborn at 33 weeks. It was without a doubt the worst time in my life. I felt enormous guilt, as if I had not been a good enough father, or husband. I struggled with my faith, but ultimately found my bond with God much stronger.  I spent the better part of two years grieving, and along with my wife and three other children, felt a great loss. Even after nine years the pain is still there, but most of the edge has been taken off knowing h...