You're from Colorado if...

You have absolutely no recognizable accent. If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy". You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life. You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed. You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is, it's still a one-horse town". When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South. During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding". If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle. You have a broken windshield. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car. You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail. You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city. You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman. You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding. The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. You get depressed after one day of foggy weather. You think that formal wear is ironed denim. North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from. You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks. You think gun control is a steady hand. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow. You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista. Your car insurance costs more than your car. April showers bring May blizzards. You know what a "Chinook" is. You know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is. You know what a "fourteener" is. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does. Driving directions usually include 'Go over ____ Pass... You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. They were both in the same year. You know the elevation of a town, but not its population. You or someone you know plays golf 12 months of the year. You don't have AC in your home, but you use it in your car all winter long. If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.